1. Greg Benson is given a suspension for being a traitor. Recap of the win over NYCFC. Man Balls are given out to almost every Columbus starter.

2. Legitimately terrible interview with Celebrity Fan Todd Fichtenberg, including details on the legal battle with US Soccer over the Dos a Cero trademark, #NorOnTour, and The Sunshine Brigade.

3. Details on the Crew SC Gear Sale, and Google Earth stalking #TIFOSWEAT. We go live on Periscope and dive deep into your extremely #HotTakes for the week. John Zidar is a fuccboi. Predictions for the upcoming match against Houston.